MASH, ripe mango & blood orange

Hey, do you remember the first time you picked up a bottle of Jones Soda? I do. I was in my early adolescent years and, being from the boonies, I wasn't familiar with a huge variety of sodas in general. I remember thinking that the photos on the labels were a really cute idea, and I was taken by the laid-back-dude element in the product descriptions.

Since then, I have become far more cynical. The point is that it was my introduction to beverages that like to talk to you, the viewer. They want to win you over with a friendly, chatty image, like the vitamin water that goes off on a tangent about work-outs and sick-days and breakfast with orange juice. MASH seems at first to be running with the same gimmick but oh, oh no. This drink is feisty.

"MASH was conceived with everyone in mind, taking all that's good from a number of well-liked beverages."

It says, and I raise an eyebrow. A number of well-liked beverages, huh?

"It's not 100% juice, it's not soda-pop. nor will you get vitamins or energy from it (we still believe in getting a good night's sleep and eating your vegetables)."

Really. You can almost hear the "Unlike those OTHER guys" muttered sidelong.

"But you will love its natural fruit essence and its very light sweetness (and low calories!). So whatever you do or study, MASH is for you... when you're looking for something to drink other than water (water water, that is)."

I'll love no matter what I study? Sweet! I'm always looking for a drink that isn't at odds with my perusal of Chaucer.

But seriously, MASH, there's a point where you can just get too colloquial... "Water water"? Really? It makes me imagine a room full of marketing experts trying to figure out how they can snark their competitors whilst retaining that Casual, Down To Earth tone that the kids are into these days.

But you're probably tired of my nitpicking.... How is the drink itself?

Boring. Sorry. It's sugary and carbonated to a degree that had all three of us comparing it to lemon candy. Maybe focus more on the blood-orange than the prose next time, MASH?